Cultural Reconnection

Intro

PALOMA: Have you ever felt caught between two worlds — not fully belonging to the culture you were raised in, yet feeling disconnected from your heritage?

Hello, I’m Paloma Chiara, a life coach based in Spain. On this podcast, I share coaching insights and practical tips designed to inspire your personal growth.

Today, I’m speaking with Anjana Vaid, founder of Cultures Link, who turned her personal struggle with cultural identity into a mission to help others find their sense of belonging. In this conversation, we’ll explore the hidden shame many carry about their roots, why cultural disconnection affects more people than we realize, and how reconnecting with your heritage — on your own terms — can transform your relationship with yourself.

Let’s dive in.

Reconnecting With Cultural Roots

PALOMA: Hello Anjana, would you like to present yourself?

ANJANA: Hello, my name is Anjana. I am from India. I was raised in Azerbaijan, and then I moved to Spain three years ago. After getting my undergrad degree in international marketing here in Spain, I decided to stay behind and start my own business, which is called Cultures Link.

PALOMA: Can you tell us a little bit about your business? What does it do?

ANJANA: So Culture’s Link is an online platform. I started developing back in June 2024. It’s essentially created to help people find their sense of belonging. We cater to people in two formats.

The first format is B2B. So we sell an employee wellness program called Settle Well, that is designed to help employees and teams communicate effectively across cultures.

And the other service that we provide, which is a B2C service, is the Heritage Connection Program. And that includes one-on-one coaching, that is completely rooted in culture. So let’s say you are an Indian similar to myself that was born and raised abroad and you don’t have much familiarity with your own ties or your feeling disconnected to your roots. You would get coached so you can overcome those uncomfortable feelings tied to your cultural identity.

PALOMA: Got it. So for your B2C services, I’m curious, what process do you have planned for when a client comes in?

ANJANA: So when a client comes in, we already have a set of cultural coaches that are on board, and we have them designated for each culture that we are targeting. So when a client comes in, obviously we would provide them with an intake form — we have one on our website — or if they would like to do a discovery call they could do a free discovery call with us.

And once we have a solid understanding of their particular case of cultural disconnection, that information would be related to the coach who will be taking up their case and then they would spend the next 12 weeks having one-on-one sessions once every alternate week with their cultural coach, who will walk them through various aspects of the immigrant experience or being an expat abroad.

And then they will also keep them up to date about what modern-day India is like, what India was like in the past. They’ll talk to them about history, the history of immigration to their particular area where they’re based. They’ll give them an overview of whatever they missed out. Let’s say for instance music, art, architecture from their country, they would be provided with a solid overview of that.

And at the end of the program, at the end of those 12 weeks, our goal is to help people feel far more confident and at peace with who they are.

PALOMA: So a big part of that is learning about that culture that they’re in, right?

ANJANA: Exactly.

PALOMA: And is it also meant to be sort of like therapy?

ANJANA: It has therapeutic elements, however, we are not in the therapeutic sphere. It’s more related to coaching, however there are factors, like, because obviously when you experience cultural disconnection or shame, these are rather heavy feelings to deal with, and we do address that. However, again, we don’t take credit for providing people with therapists, if that makes sense.

PALOMA: So what about clients who are raised in multiple cultures? What would be the focus for them?

ANJANA: So what our coaches would then do is they would ask them which culture they feel closest to. When we have the discovery call, we would ask them which culture do they feel closer to work?

We spoke to this one person that’s going to be trying out our program in the upcoming weeks. She is half Indian, half Cuban, and she’s based in Spain. So she, despite the fact that the first few years of her life she spent in Cuba and then she moved to Valencia. And the thing is that after moving to Valencia, even though she speaks Spanish fluently, she still feels very disconnected and now she wants to connect to her Indian roots.

So we ask them during the discovery call, we would ask them like which, if they would say that no, I feel, if she would say, I feel closer to my Cuban heritage and I want to learn more about that, then we would connect her to a Cuban expert rather than an Indian. So it all depends on what the client is looking for.

PALOMA: Got it. So they would have to choose, right? You can’t do more than one at once.

ANJANA: Exactly, pretty much.

PALOMA: When people come for the B2C services, what would you say is the hidden pain that they usually carry that they might not say out loud?

ANJANA: I believe it’s difficult feelings tied to their identity. It’s shame, it’s discomfort, it’s not being able to fit in. Not knowing whether and like not feeling welcomed enough in the country they’re residing in, and not feeling like they belong to their home country either. Because that was a common experience I had as well growing up, where I grew up in Azerbaijan, and even though I speak Azerbaijani fluently and I speak Russian as well, I was always treated like an outsider. But then when I would go back to India, I would be made to feel like I’m not Indian enough.

So a lot of people experiencing difficult feelings with their culture have this issue and face this dilemma where they don’t know where they truly belong. So that’s a common pain point we’ve noticed.

PALOMA: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. So what steps would you take to approach breaking through that?

ANJANA: I mean, obviously the steps to work through it would be to identify that they have an issue. And this is something that we’ve noticed a lot with CulturesLink — a lot of people don’t really understand that they are facing cultural disconnection. And what they have is a negative thing, to put it bluntly. And this is something that needs to be overcome.

So the first thing, I think — and obviously I do want to iterate that you can never be fully cured. We are not promising a cure to cultural disconnection, because you can continue to learn about your identity for the rest of your existence. And countries like India or Mexico or so many other countries in the world with ancient history — it could take a lifetime learning everything about it.

I think the first step is to identify that you have an issue and to start taking proactive steps to really question yourself as to: what made me feel like this? Was I bullied in school because the food that I brought in my lunchbox smelled different and people looked at me odd? Was I made fun of because of the clothes I wore? Or did I feel ashamed when my parents would speak to me in my mother tongue because people made fun of my accent once?

So asking themselves these kinds of questions and identifying the issue — I think those are the main steps. And then working through it, as I said, by finding ways that they feel comfortable with connecting to their culture.

PALOMA: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Actually, the story that you said about kids judging your food — that happened to me when I was younger.

ANJANA: I’m so sorry about that. That is, yeah, that’s awful.

PALOMA: And it’s the first time I think of it as a cultural thing, because back then I didn’t see it like that. Like for me, my mom has always loved cooking vegetables and that’s just what she made me. And the other kids were like, “Ew, what is that?”

ANJANA: Very, very right. Like I would get made fun of because of the way I pronounce things. And then I kind of — that’s why I have a very odd accent. Like I don’t really have an accent that’s true to an Indian accent, neither do I have one that’s true to an Azerbaijani one. So it’s just in the middle essentially.

PALOMA: Yeah, I totally get that. And yeah, I’m curious about your story as well. Can you tell me a bit more about your cultural identity struggles and what inspired you to create this business?

ANJANA: Yeah, so I essentially, to give you an overview of Paloma, is, I grew up in Azerbaijan, as I said, and my parents and I moved there when I was a year old from India. The reason why my dad decided to move me out of India was because I was diagnosed with a disability at birth. So because of that I’m unable to walk and I’m confined to a wheelchair. They thought they would be able to provide me with a better life in Azerbaijan, and that’s why we moved there — even though it’s not really wheelchair accessible, so it was a bit counterintuitive. It was quite a silly decision looking back, but regardless.

So we moved over there and as I said, when I moved there I had difficulties with my identity because I would visit India maybe once a year for like a month, and I didn’t really grasp the language. We would speak English at home, so I never really got to connect with my roots as much. And plus, I was raised Catholic because my mom’s Catholic, so I didn’t even get to connect to my dad’s Hindu side. So that really kind of pulled me away from my roots, and it manifested over the years where I constantly tried to prove that I’m Azerbaijani enough and that I’m closer to their culture — when in reality I should have just learned to be happy with who I am and the fact that I’m unique in such a monoethnic state.

But I still kept trying to fit in. And then that changed once I moved to Spain back in 2023. When I came here and started going to uni, I started seeing that there were a lot of Pakistanis, for instance, that I managed to befriend, who knew far more about Indian culture than I ever did. And these people were raised in Pakistan. Obviously we share a lot — we share Bollywood, and we share music, and we share so many things. Our culture is very similar, but the fact that people from out of my country knew more about my country kind of scared me. It made me realize that you truly need to amp up your game with your culture.

That’s what inspired me over the years. Plus, I got therapy for it and I spoke about it with my therapist last year. I said that I don’t really know, there’s something wrong — I feel like there’s a sense of shame I have towards my identity. And she was the one who actually highlighted the possibility of me experiencing cultural disconnection. Then I started looking into it and I found studies. I realized that there are other people all across the world who face similar issues, and this is not a new thing. People have been talking about cultural disconnection since the early 2000s, late 90s as well. There are studies from South Asians and Latin Americans highlighting this for years and years.

Plus, post 9/11 in the United States, a lot of Arabs came up and they also spoke about how they felt like they were not Arab enough, and tried to prove that they are American enough in order to fit in and not get bullied or persecuted, if that makes sense.

Yeah, so I realized that I wasn’t alone in this, and I realized that there weren’t any resources or platforms to help people address these issues. Since I was about to graduate, I thought why not just go all in? I know this is a new concept. I know it’s going to be difficult to actually tell people that this is a problem that they have to fix. But I think it’s worth the risk, and I’m all in for it. I really like that I’m building something that can help people honestly identify their own identity, come to terms with it, and be at peace with who they are.

PALOMA: You mentioned that this search for cultural reconnection happens often for people from colonized countries. Do you think it also happens the other way around, such as, for example, Americans who go to Latin America?

ANJANA: Absolutely, it does. I mean, I knew this one person who was Spanish and they lived in the Netherlands for a few years. And they personally, even though they were not there for a very long time — they were there for around five years or so — they experienced a lot of disconnect because culturally the Spaniards and the Dutch are quite different.

So I’m pretty sure it’s not only — for the lack of a better term — it’s not only people from colonized states that experience this issue. It’s people from anywhere, they definitely could. But I feel like when it comes to resources for people from minority groups, it’s already limited, and that’s why I wanted to create this platform: to cater towards South Asians, Latin Americans, and eventually branch out to Central Asia.

PALOMA: Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Would you say that everyone should explore their roots?

ANJANA: Absolutely. 100%. I feel like because of the psychological impact our culture tends to have on us — which we are not even looking into enough — I definitely think they do.

PALOMA: Why do you think so?

ANJANA: Because it helps us understand ourselves better, it helps us develop our confidence, and it helps us be able to form more authentic connections with others. When we know about our culture, we can tell others about it, inform them, connect with them, and ask them about their culture. Then it creates a whole new room for conversation, and I think that’s very important.

PALOMA: I see. And what if someone doesn’t feel like they have any cultural roots they connect with?

ANJANA: I think they just don’t know that there’s an issue yet, and it will eventually catch up to them when they’re older.

PALOMA: Okay, and what are signs that they should?

ANJANA: What are signs that they need to? Well, obviously a feeling of hollowness, a feeling of “I don’t really belong anywhere, I don’t belong in either place enough.” Those are signs. Then, another thing I wanted to bring up: when people in Azerbaijan used to ask me about Indian history or politics or something specific to India, I often couldn’t answer them. And these could be basic things. I feel like that’s not a good thing — at least in my book.

I feel like you should be able to have, like—at least, I’m not telling—and that’s the thing people might misunderstand with Cultures Link, Paloma. They might think that we’re coming to Europe and we’re telling immigrants to reject European values and Western values and be completely like, maintain their own roots.

That’s not what we’re trying to do, because Cultures Link, at the end of the day, does have very Eurocentric tones to it as a concept. We are about wellness, we are about acknowledging things—which is not something that we really do back home in India, for instance. In India, many people still think that if you go to a psychologist, for instance, you’re mentally ill.

So we do have a Eurocentric approach towards this thing, but we understand it on a holistic level: that if you’re able to deal with this, you can be a better person and you can show up more authentically in society. Therefore, you can perform better at school, at work, because your mental health is better, you can form more authentic relationships.

So obviously, if people don’t acknowledge that this is an issue that they may have to look into, then it’s an issue in itself.

PALOMA: Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t say there’s any harm in learning about your own culture.

ANJANA: Absolutely.

PALOMA: So when someone reconnects with their cultural roots, how can they know if they’re embracing who they truly are, or just adopting an identity that others expect of them?

ANJANA: Why would they adopt an identity that others expect of them? Do you mean like, for example, a Bangladeshi person raised in the United States, and their parents are asking them to be more Bangladeshi? Do you mean it in that context?

PALOMA: Yeah, something like that.

ANJANA: I mean, this is something I wasn’t forced to do. And I think that if culture is forced upon you, it isn’t a good thing. Some people even have trauma from certain rituals. Some might not like certain aspects of their culture — they might not like weddings, they might not like ceremonies — and their parents force them to attend. Or, for example, someone from South America might not be religious, but their parents force them to go to church. Obviously that’s not a good thing if they don’t want to do it.

Our connection with culture is very personal. It’s kind of like our relationship with religion. It’s ours. And there should be no intermediaries, if that makes sense. We should do it on our own terms, in ways that feel safe to us, because it’s all about feeling safe.

PALOMA: Got it. So in a way, someone could create like a “new version” of their culture that feels authentic to them?

ANJANA: Absolutely. That’s what we encourage at CulturesLink. A lot of the content we put up on social media — which is educational — encourages people and shows them ways to embrace their roots on their own terms.

PALOMA: So you wouldn’t say it dilutes the essence of tradition?

ANJANA: No, no. Because again, we’re not telling people to learn about their culture and then go back to their country of origin. Like me, personally: I love India, I love being Indian, but as a wheelchair user I’m never going to move there. I’d rather live in Spain or another European country where I know I’ll have access to move around.

So I don’t think you have to do it in the most traditional way possible. We’re living in the digital age, and we have platforms to help people overcome these negative feelings.

PALOMA: And do you think it’s possible to fully reconnect with your culture, even if you were raised outside of it?

ANJANA: I think it’s a lifelong journey, Paloma. Like I mentioned, like if you’re from a country that has ancient, that has an ancient culture, it’s going to be really hard to fully learn about every aspect of it. But I do feel you can be at peace with your roots. You can be peace with who you are. Sometimes you might feel some uncomfortable feelings. Maybe while you’re in your healing journey, you might overcompensate.

So for instance, let’s say, let’s say you’re South American and you’re in Spain and you are in your healing journey and you suddenly realize that oh my goodness like yeah whatever happened to my ancestors during colonialism and everything it was so difficult and we were oppressed in this way and so on so forth you might overcompensate. You might completely, let’s say you could refuse to go to a Spanish restaurant, for instance, you might only choose to eat your own type food, or you might refuse to interact with people who might have varying opinions on the ties between your country of heritage and Spain, for instance, right? So you might overcompensate in that sense.

But when you’re more at peace with it, you might, you’ll say that, okay, look, I understand whatever happened in history was horrible. I acknowledge that and things that are still happening, there are still forms of oppression that are left behind to linger, but my culture is my own to keep and I can embrace aspects of it and I will keep learning to be proud of aspects of it while acknowledging the nuances, if that makes sense. I hope it makes sense.

PALOMA: No, yeah, it makes complete sense, of course.

ANJANA: Because there’s a balance, it’s all about finding a balance and I mean I personally did that as well. I didn’t know of like I didn’t have the balance, I was just at one point I was so aware, hyper aware even, of like British colonialism and I just refused to like acknowledge anything good that England did for India, not during the colonial period, my goodness, but I’m talking about like the ties that we have now.

The fact that there’s so many areas in the UK that are populated by South Asians in a positive way, the fact that like chicken tikka masala is literally the UK’s national dish and that we have movies that we’ve grown up loving like Bend It Like Beckham for instance, which is about South Asian growing up in the UK and being into football. So yeah, it’s like, I was so, I was rejecting the good things about it and I was hyper-focusing on the negative and I don’t want to do that.

And now I’m able to have healthy conversations with people from the UK as well about India and the damage that their ancestors did to mine. But I’m also able to just move forward and work with people from the UK to push CulturesLink forward.

PALOMA: Yeah, I think for me, I wouldn’t be able to choose a certain culture because I’m also a mix, but I don’t feel like I relate to any of them.

ANJANA: Where are you from exactly?

PALOMA: I was born in the US, but my mom is Colombian and my dad is Dominican, and I also lived in Mexico and in France.

ANJANA: I see, that’s what I mean. Yeah, that must be overwhelming.

PALOMA: Yeah, and I don’t, like, I feel like it would make more sense for me to feel Latin American, but I don’t associate much with the music or the food, which I feel like are one of the most essential things. So if I don’t have that, it’s like, hmm.

ANJANA: Yeah, that’s so interesting. I mean, that’s a whole other case because usually people do feel more like stable with one culture over the other if they’re mixed. Like I have an Azerbaijani friend who’s an Indian half Azerbaijani and she personally identifies heavily with being Indian even though she was born and raised in Azerbaijan and speaks their language but she knows that she looks South Asian. She sounds South Asian, her name is South Asian. So I think that has a lot to do with it as well.

But I would, Paloma, I would truly like sit down with it and question and ask yourself, you know, if I were you like, where, like, where do I feel the safest? Which, where do I, which culture relates to me the most? But yeah, it’s just, it’s such a deep thing that’s so personal to us.

And we kind of, at times people even feel ashamed admitting that they were once ashamed of their roots or they are. So we just choose not to talk about it, you know? Because like, for instance, if a white person were to make fun of like Bollywood music, if you’re disconnected to your roots, you’d probably laugh along with them. Or if they’d make fun of like, of South American food or something. Or like, I don’t know, they could poke fun and then if you laugh along, that means you’re also rejecting a part of yourself.

PALOMA: Yeah, yeah, it’s true.

ANJANA: Yeah, just, it’s such a deep topic and I feel like it’s spoken about very little in today’s day. Yeah, I do feel like we need to keep the conversation going.

PALOMA: What do you think would happen for humanity as a whole if we stopped researching our cultural roots?

ANJANA: I mean, we would be living in denial, honestly. And I don’t mean to like fearmonger, but I do feel like we would truly just not be aware of ourselves. We would just be living like, oh yeah, this is an aspect of me, I don’t really care about it, whatever, I’m just, I’m here to integrate and I’m here to assimilate into the host country’s culture and forget who I am.

Because like, my cultural identity, Paloma, it’s a huge aspect of who I am as a person. So, if I would—like, I mean, of course I’m a woman with a disability, but I’m also an Indian woman with a disability, you know. So that’s a huge aspect of who I am. And I think that’s, yeah, to just deny that side of me would be, it wouldn’t be fair to my heritage and to my ancestors and to me as a human being.

PALOMA: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Okay, so for anyone in that situation, do you have any advice to say?

ANJANA: I would say, as I said, ask themselves questions. Question yourself. Identify how disconnected you are, what’s causing the disconnect, when did it, where did it stem from, and what are the proactive steps you can take to build a better relationship with your heritage.

PALOMA: Yes, those are great questions. Okay, so do you have any last words you want to share?

ANJANA: No, I’m good, Paloma. Thank you so much for this. I absolutely loved your questions.

PALOMA: Thank you as well, this was very interesting and I have a lot to think about now.

ANJANA: Yeah, definitely. If you need any tips or anything from my side, please let me know. I’m always here to support you with your journey as well.

PALOMA: Thank you. Thank you, same here.

LINKS:

• Cultures Link website
• Cultures Link Instagram
• Cultures Link TikTok

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